No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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