he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
