Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
