shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
