hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
