My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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