so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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