Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
