when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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