like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she peed on how many people?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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