Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
