So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
