he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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