somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
