So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
