Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
