The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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