he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
