Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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