I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
