Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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