I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
