Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
