the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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