Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
