He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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