We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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