I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
