i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
And then he peed in my hair
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