he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
