I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
