i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
