No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
