i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
