Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
