with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
