I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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