Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
