I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
