handjob tips. give me some.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
