If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
