I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
