Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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