It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
