Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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