Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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