did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
