First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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