I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
