I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
