Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
