started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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