I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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