"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
